Alexis Antonelli

Six years of tries
before one that stuck.

This is the story behind Sober Adventuring, and the reason it exists the way it does.

I started trying to get sober at eighteen. What followed was about six years of attempts that looked like progress from the outside and felt like drowning from the inside: two years here, nine months there, six months, five months. I was lacking an understanding of why I kept ending up in the same place until I went to a rehab center tucked away in the mountains of New Hampshire, where I learned about the disease model alongside other explanations about why I was the way I am.

Like most, adolescence wasn’t easy and my skin was itchy. I had what was then diagnosed as conduct disorder, but what I now understand was pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a behavioral profile on the autism spectrum characterized by an intense, anxiety-driven need to avoid everyday demands.

Substances came early on for me, with my prescription to Adderall at just 9 years old. My favorite game to play was seeing if I could get out of taking the pills. But with every attempt, I was met with a knowing from those around me while they sternly questioned, often with a raised brow, “did you take your medication?”

I’ve met many along the road who experienced this young ADHD diagnosis + medication thing, and I’m curious if they’re also concerned by the subconscious imprint this leaves behind.

“If you don’t swallow a mind altering chemical, you won’t be accepted.”

I took prescribed Adderall for 10+ years, learning to love the quietness it offered my mind and then the acceptance others showed me when I was placated. The pipeline from this to addiction came rather quick, and naturally.

What came next resulted in 5+ totaled cars, arrests, and suicide attempts, all before the age of 24. I am lucky to be alive, and lucky to have the confidence to put this onto the internet in hopes it will reach the right person.

Where I am now

Today I live in Thailand, where I keep myself busy with a multitude of adventures.

Teaching work reentry and freelance skills to those in recovery, because income and independence are the parts nobody thinks to build first.

Designing silly, fun art that I’ve recently started to sell (check out the merch).

Playing terribly at pool.

Writing a memoir alongside a recovery workbook, both of which are taking longer than expected.

I built Sober Adventuring because I needed something like this and it did not exist in the capacity I had needed. I hope you get as much joy out of this corner of the internet as I got by creating it.

A note: I am not a licensed therapist. I have direct experience in rehab and mental health spaces, I am trauma-informed, and I have built structured frameworks around this work. But I am, above everything, just a person who went through something hard and figured out how to get to the other side of it. If you are in an active crisis, please reach out to a qualified professional. I am happy to point you toward resources.

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